Go Softly...

Tired of fighting
a losing battle against myself
There is no one else,
i can only blame myself
Struggle with my demons,
but there's no scheming to my ways
Living moment by moment,
but dreading the hours
that drag past this tired face
Seems i've know all along
the answer lies within
but i can't get past the starting line,
so where do i begin?
He who hesitates is lost,
the cost is great indeed
How can i move these feet of lead
when i know but don't pay any heed?
A life of pain, with little gain
now i search for some respite
to quit this coil with little toil
might make the anguish quit...
               2-28-12

Like No Other...

A kiss as soft as a spider web
at the nape of your neck,
a sweeping caress down your spine
as i hear your sudden intake of breath
my movements match yours,
intertwining in the soft light
as music only we hear plays
I reach for your hand, to know this is real,
as i am transported beyond this world
to a place many dream of but few know
and i am brought rushing earthward
but enjoying every minute of the fall
Your lips give and take,
give me renewed life,
but take my breath away at the same time
as the hours become lost in the moment
Like nothing i have ever felt before
but that which i have always dreamed,
lost in the startling experience of you
but so much more, so much more
than it could ever seem...
             02-19-12

Pink Morning...

Pink, behind grey clouds
meandering across the heavens;
puffs of cotton picking up the moisture
from yesterday's rains
The air is thick with it,
the humdity almost heavy
as droplets of water burst
with every step on the grass,
tiny explosions cascading
just inches from the ground
Blue hides also, peeking out
wondering if today he may play
Spider's web in crystalline glory;
diamonds tremble and cling
to the gossamer strands
lit like fiber optic filament
by the rising sun...
       05-04-10

Centuries Collide...

The breeze in my face
and the wind to my back
listening to the wheels
of the nearby train go clickety-clack
as road follows rail
or was it the other way 'round?...

Did the great Iron Horse make its way first,
before the wagons and buggys?
Not before the frontiersmen with their undying thirst
for elbow room, to hear Dan'l tell
if you sit by the campfire and listen to the stories
you've learned so well, the peril and the glory
the stallworth soul and shattered pride
but, hold a moment friend, let me step aside...
somehow it all just hit me, like a sudden landslide...
How comes all this from one bike ride?...
                        05-04-10

Curiosity Kitten...

We hear the same voices,
hear music in soft noises,
keep from crowds,
large and boisterous
for there's too much information there
and too fast it's being given,
so many souls, so busy living
that if you stop to take a listen
you could be lost in the sands of time...
Listening to Eternity
in the hope of losing uncertainty
or that things may become clear
enough to see where we're going after all
but then, again, you hear a call,
or perhaps some mysterious footfall
echoing in a darkened hall whispering,
"so, did you think you knew it all?"...
                   05-04-10

Hidden Moon...

Half moon,
dividing night and day
as black gives way to blue,
the new day begins
and the world is new again...
Let it begin with this hope;
Let mankind learn to cope,
not with the forces of Nature,
for those he has nearly vanquished,
not with fate that may lie in the stars,
for then many wiil sit and languish
not with the wonder of love
for mystery it must remain...

Man must learn to cope
that he is born a fool
and as a fool
he will never change...

So go on about
and play your games
for that is all we truly do
but don't be upset when rules change
and you need new toys
to help you make it through...
We are children of the Cosmos,
wrapped in starlight and chemistry
Phermones and angels dancing overhead
this life, is always a sweet mystery to me...
                    05-05-10

Sandstone...

Clearly, some thing have changed,
how is it i have not?
At least that's how it appears to me,
a bridge of sand few have dared cross...

Throughout the long, hard years
My thoughts have not changed,
my beliefs have stood fast,
and my life has been rearranged ,
more than once...
and yes, i've complained
about the first and last
and i find it wonderous
to have a daughter and a son...
but omens and portents and planets aligning
reading the bones and looking for signs in the sky
won't put the genie back into the bottle...
but they say god doesn't give you
more than you can handle
by the light of the moon
or flickering candle...
           05-06-10

Musical Memories...

Songs are moments caught in time
with music lifting up
and echoing the rhyme
songs to bring back memories sublime
You know, it happens all the time
Little wonder we all sing
for the happiness it brings
in the way the music rings
around our hearts and souls
and the way it takes a hold
without losing your control
just a soft sight when it's over
and then another tune
for it fills up any room
left within your heart
and a heart that's full
is always a good start...
         05-06-10

Gods Live Still...

Friday,
Freya's day,
the goddess of the North...
From cold unforgiving lands
comes the warm heart and hands,
the soul full of longing,
wanting to understand,
the comfort of a warm embrace,
peace settles upon your face
and flows to me and through me
in waves of wonder and delight
in dreams surreal and yet so right
little wonder i don't sleep at night
for the pounding of my heart
as it starts and stops
a thousand times a day...
            05-07-10

Poor Student...

Strained but not sifted
some coarseness still left..
the hoarseness in my voice
comes from long anguished cries
Little wonder why the heavy heaved sighs
echo long in the Hall of Regret...
Those who say they have none,
i think are lying, if not to me, then to themselves,
for when we delve into ourselves who need not stand back
and look again at errors in judgement
and words said unwisely, in the heat of the moment?
Truths can be told without anger
Wisdom can be gained with flinching
Slowly but surely, step by step
On this Stairway to Heaven we are inching
Pinch me, if i fall asleep, lost in the dream...
                    05-09-10

Storm Warning...

The paths i have taken
have not always seemed by choice
sound of distant thunder,
hear that familiar little voice
telling you to keep going
despite tornados that are blowing
find a place to hunker down
until the storm passes

Wind of Change only rearrange
leaving old memories behind
while new ones come in exchange...
Can you bear the strain
of being pulled this way and that
deciding where you're at
from the view on the teeter-totter
Perhaps you wonder, "why bother,
will it get you any further?"
to which i say,
it is not in the knowing
it is in the desire, the growing...
                 05-10-10

Sunday Morning...

Captured in the morning light,
marionette movements,
such a comical sight
Two day stubble upon my face,
rasping sound as i run my chin
as though the movement could erase
Sunday morning reverie
getting breakfast for my kids
but not any for me
Watch for the cat beneath my feet
lest i step upon her tail
Don't want to hear the scrambling feet
and the shrieking wail
And you can feel the morning
sunshine on the glass
Another day is dawning
but this one too shall pass
but you hold every moment
in your grasp
to let go all too soon
for nothing ever lasts...
             02-13-12

As I am...

i am the breeze turned to wind
that whispers in your ear
thoughts you may not want to hear...

i am the wind howling,
warning you of the dangers i see,
knowing they don't just apply to me

i am a tornado,
twisting this way and that,
taking anyone not secure in themselves,
not pure in intentions
and giving them reason to think

i am a figment of your imagination
a creation of your mind,
adding another piece to your puzzle
as you add to mine...

i am all of this and nothing...
i am alive so i feel all things...
i am a man and i am a child...
i am civilized and yet so wild...
i am naive and i am jaded
but my soul is vibrant and alive
my inner colors have not faded
wondering if the time has come
for the things that i have waited upon...
05-10-10

Inspiration...

My thoughts are my own,
they have a home
in my heart and soul...
They come to me, unbidden.
bringing new ideas
or memories left hidden
or lying broken on the floor
from the rough handling
life has given me
but now they are free
to roam whither they will,
as the words spill across the page,
as i will never act my age
but i bare it all upon the stage
in an attempt to free my soul,
to gain control for the first time
that which i have never been able to define
but what is clearly mine to give...

Questions...

What changes your day,
what holds you in its sway,
what makes the world go away
and it's just you floating free?
What makes up your mind,
what do you leave behind,
how do you know it's time
to accept things as they be?

How do you keep your head,
despite all you have read,
when you want to scream instead
at the insanity of life?
How do you keep your cool
instead of playing the fool,
How do you follow the rules
when they're just not right?

Why do we hide our hearts
when we have known from the start
some of us have met and parted
in lives long ago past?
Why does our soul know it all?
Is it because after The Fall
that is the only way we hear His call
or understand our part in the cast...
05-10-10

The Eyes Have it...

You have the look, my friend,
that of a drowning man
reaching for any hand
and not thinking
about who he might pull under...
the kid in a candystore
who doesn't understand
the price you pay for sweets
you may not comprehend
until after the taste is gone...

I've seen the look, my friend,
a few times in the mirror
and i asked myself,
"Who are you kidding?"
for if we all did our body's bidding
in what sorry state would this world be?
and though we're free to pick and choose,
this is, after all, a game
where someone wins and someone loses
we all know this
but sometimes we refuse to
see more than meets our eye...
05-14-10

Age Difference...

Age does not always bring
Wisdom...
Youth does not mean
Immaturity...
I have met many an old fool
and wondered
how they managed
to reach such a ripe old age...
Likewise,
I have met a few young people
with old souls
wise beyond their years,
with poise and bearing
that belies their age...
Why could not the numbers be reversed?
There seems to be a great many old fools
And painfully few young lions

circa 1996

Four Out of Five Doctors Agree...

Rest my soul;
let it stop a while here...
Let the wind among the trees
whisper words to calm me,
sing sad songs to me
bring to me peace and unity
and perhaps i will finally be free
of the doubt and self loathing,
of being beholden for the sins of others,
of harsh words spoken to sons and daughters
of cries of anguish from fathers and mothers
of disbelief, even having seen the parting of the waters...

Wanting to so much believe what i believe...
My questions are like hunger pangs
as the leopard sinks his fangs in again
to take his pound of flesh
and somehow it all meshes together
whether i understand it or not...
Matters not or very little,
it there was a trial
there would be an acquittal
on the grounds of Insanity...
05-14-10

Good Lord, I Need a Vacation!...

Good Lord, I need a vacation!
Can't keep conversations going
and old friends seem like strangers
Maybe i need the Bahamas,
a short talk with momma
might end this erratic behavior

But... you can't go back, so they say
Your childhood wasn't yesterday
and the foolish games we play
are not child's toys...

Good Lord, do i need an outing!
i missed my Boy Scouting
and maybe that's why i'm growing restless
Have i wasted my schooling
with too much tom fooling,
always looking forward to recess?

But... sometimes you just shouldn't play;
you can get burned that way
and some things are hard to throw away
once you've developed a fondness...

Perhaps i need recreation...
though it's no consolation,
a tired body's no respite
Driven way past distraction,
don't give out reactions...
a tired soul lost in traffic

But... sometimes you just have to wait
though some may say you procrastinate,
you can't always have cake on your plate
everybody grow tired...

Good Lord, do i need a cat nap!
i'm sick of the clap trap,
i'm talking myself into circles
Oh, i've developed a hunger
that won't last much longer
i want to soar with the eagles...

But... you know man will never fly,
but is that any reason to cry?
There are so many things you could try...
if you've a mind to...
             circa 1979

For the Moment...

When the grey light meets the misted morning
and the birds stay in their nests
another sleepy eyed day is dawning,
what it brings is anybody's guess
What else is there left to say?
You can only watch as the day plays out,
you can't rail and you can't shout
only stand to one side and watch it open...

When the moment's lost in wonder
as the bell tolls for no one
hear it chime in the far off distance
like the slow rising of the sun
Nothing comes to those who wait
a second lost might be too late
What other thing have you upon your slate
that won't stand to wait in line?

As the meaning dawns upon you
how will you take the lesson learned
when the realization strikes you
that the worm has finally turn?
There are few things lost forever
so many things do come around
Unearth you past and find the hidden treasure
and the truths that you have found...
                 02-11-12

Sisyphus...

Inhale the mood
exhale the thoughts
grasp at the wind
and see what you caught
How long can you hold on
to what you've been taught
when the world is turned upside down
and do you have to loosen your grasp
on your slim hold on reality
to get a better foothold?
Rest your arms and see
what the view brings today,
what the spirits have to say
unless they have finally gone away,
frustrated at your lacking of undertanding
Jump or keep on climbing
if you jump, watch you timing
and be careful of where you're landing...
                     05-14-10

Crow's Nest...

A murder of crows against a cloudless sky,
black against the blue
as they light upon the branches,
preparing for the coming sunset
to be followed by the silent nightfall
Just outside my window they sit
surveying the horizon,
wondering what the night will bring
to the perch they now sit upon
The wind is still, but there is a chill
to the air as they begin the wait till morning,
but none to patiently,
as they take to wing again
to find a better vantage point
to view the wonders of the night,
hoping the morning flight will be uneventful
as has been this winter that is passing
Less snow than in many a year,
less cold to bring a bit of cheer
as around the corner of the year we peer
into our uncertain future...           
          02-05-12

Joker's Wild...

Let the rain explain,
if it can,
the wonderous circle
that's been turning
since the world began...

While it's easy enough to understand,
the questions remains;
Is it part of some Master's Plan,
just the natural course of things
or something, deeper still,
that we will never comprehend?
And to whom do i address the question,
where shall the letter be sent?
Request for Information, returned,
marked, "Address Unknown"...

And phones are ghostly wires
for the images a voice inspires,
though you can still hear a lie
in the tone of a voice...
Little choice in the noticing,
another question remains:
what good does this bring?
In tales of Queens and Kings
someone must always play the Fool...
                05-15-10

Many Trails...

Moccassin morning...
making no sound
as i follow the leaves
disturbed on the ground
amid the mist as it glides down
to this wooded patch of wonder
i have just found...

Again, i must stop a while,
there is just a hint of a smile,
here sits the Forever Child,
letting time disappear...

And if you were to come near
would you see the years slipping away,
would you hear what the voices say
as they jostle for position
in their place in line?
Would you hook me up to a machine
to analyze what i have seen?
Wires and fires in my brain
to see why i don't dream?

And it happens like this all the time
a subtle image, a second of my life
turned to what i cannot tell
until i return to read it after
And i shake and i tremble
for i honestly can't remember
the words that you disemble
that are so much a part of me...
             05-16-10

Momentary Distractions...

Let me disappear today
that is, in fact, if i ever was
give me little rhyme
and less reason
for once, let's just say...
because...

i'm tired of the tears
and fears turned to phobia,
the jeers down the years
from strangers
never taking time to know you
Snap judgements, books and covers
Traumatic changes,
just how does one recover?
How many times must the door slam
in my face,
before i turn away?

i am always forgiving
but i can never not forget
but what it is i tire of
is the helplessness and regret
Foolish words and foolish temper
when it is all as simple
as picking up a phone to say
"Hey, how have you been?
You know, i have missed you..."
               05-16-10

Mythology...

Whispers soft,
delicate words spoken
to no one but hoping
they float on the wind
and blow 'bout your hair
in wisps of thermal delight
as they dance here and there,
in a halo of light like a crown
made of rainbow,
in a green goddess dress
with a crooked smile
saying you know
though the wonder is you don't understand
the effect you have on poor mortal man
God and goddesses walk the land
and we live in your shadows...
ghosts...
           05-17-10

A Fine Line...

The razor's edge of madnes,
the jagged ledge of sadness,
a ship lost, rolling and tumbiling, in the sea...
Lost in the fog...
Hung, then tossed into a peat bog,
could not see the forest for the trees,
the Wicker Man, that's me...

All go...
then stop,
someone call a cop,
there seems to to something afoot
Not all is as it seems
"Son, ya better keep your nose clean"
Here, try some of this,
it's good for what you got
or, at least, for what ails ya"

The jails are full of souls
who could not bear the load,
who lost their self control
in a moment of temporary insanity
in this Comedy we play
So then who's to say what we need to make it
through the long, lost and lonely, trying days?

In the scheme of things,
in the dream of things
in the hope that faith brings,
let me ask this...
How does one keep resolve,
and on what Truth does your world revolve?...
                  05-19-10

 

Reckoning...

The Stranger prayed for a homecoming
by the light of the fingernail Moon
and Dawn spread her rose tinted arms
perhaps a moment too soon
All things boil down to perspective...
The glass; half empty or is it half full?
Don't let life get you down,
there's always a chance
if you believe in romance
and you're willing to play Love's Fool...

Well, the Ultimate Rebel is limping homeward
as the streetlights blink off one by one
and the Last Angry Young Man
is refusing to go home,
talking to himself and no one
Lonely Girl waiting for the bus alone
as her day has just begun
She dreams of true love,
prays to Unseen Gods above
and cries herself to sleep...

The Old Guard is slowly fading,
their Treasure has lost is shine
The Masses are starting to come around
Lord, perhaps it's time
Time to take stock of our World
and see if we can save this Earth
Sinking in the sand for so long
we missed the Pearl of Great Worth...
                     05-18-10

A Father's Prayer...

Don't ever leave this world
without me
Don't ever leave the house
without me saying i love you
Don't ever forget i hold none above
the two of you
for tomorrow may be too late...
Don't worry about growing up
but don't rush to grow old
remember i will be here
for as long as i can,
i will always try to understand
i'll be there in summer's heat
and in the winter's cold
i'll there to wipe the tears
and give you a hand to hold
Please, Lord God, keep my children safe...
                     05-19-10

Somethings (Really Don't Change)...

Thoughts always turn
to that now familiar cul-de-sac
such a short distance
but such a long journey,
the remembering,
the going back...
To begin again
after all this time;
to remember when
we were two of a kind
and nothing seemed impossible,
our motions were almost lyrical,
fits of laughter,
almost hysterical
to laugh away the fears

Nothing has changed deep inside
there's so much to share
deep within where your soul resides
The difference between keeping to yourself
and finding a place to hide
is thin enough, my friend...
There is nothing you can't do
as long as you believe in you
if you never give up,
you never lose
you just adjust your battle plan...
             07-28-10

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