Sunday, August 14, 2011

Words Fail...

I love,
perhaps, too dearly
I live barely,
as though the stars
by which i steer my ship 
lie hidden by the clouds
of misconception and deception
and, i'm sure,
some well meant good intentions
blocking my light
and taking the fight out of me,
to be replaced by the tears 
keeping afloat this sad boat,
this dory called A Fool's Tears...

Back on shore, a castaway once more,
aloud i speak to myself as i walk,
softly berating myself as i talk,
hating myself a little more,
not for what i have become
but for what i have always been;
a heart broken way too soon,
a shadow in the darkness, watching always
but never joining the party
he sees from within his gloom
for he is his own jailer
and he keeps a short leash
A nun spoke his doom
years ago on the pages
of a tome of Greek mythology
"he who hesitates is lost"
How did she know
so many years ago
or did it show even then?

Where was the grace of god,
to give the lesson so early
before the child could understand?
Now, what were vices have become habits
what does not kill me keeps me barely alive
in a sad symbiotic relationship
of pain creating, sadness in the painting
eyes see, but words fail without a page
where i can correct them before they're said
in haste and in frustration
or in wonder and elation
a kind of cosmic creation i have not control over
just like the rest of my life...   
           (12-02-10)

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