Sancho Panza...

Oh, to have less soul  and more control
i struggle with the simplest of things,
forever in a deep hole of my own design
Time after time i find myself here
staring at darkened sky
wiping away salty tears
with the eternal useless question, why?
Take away what gifts you have given me
and replace them with what virtues might set me free
for what i am now can never be more than a fool
It's too cruel a fate, to be forever a day late and a dollar short
to anticipate, to create scenarios
where i could play the hero, but the sad truth i know
in my youth i should have let my dreams go
Now i die slowly, day by day
i want, i long, i  feel , i pray
but nothing ever changes
and i grow strangely weary , fearing
always fearing,  the somber light of day
and the thousand windmills in my way...